Yesterday I realized that about this time a year ago, we were driving to the ER.
I was 6 weeks pregnant. We hadn’t told anyone yet as we had just found out a few days earlier. That very evening we were picking my mother up from the airport and had planned on breaking the news over dinner.
On the way out the door, I noticed something was wrong and we wrung our hands about whether we should go straight to a hospital and leave my mom to grab a taxi or if I was overreacting to a little spotting. I cried most of the way to the airport. I was so scared that I would lose this baby, too. We decided to share the situation with my mom and she insisted on going to the ER. There, we heard the heartbeat for the first time. It was a reassuring yet frightening sound- yes, the baby was alive, but for how long?
The next few weeks we prayed and prayed. It had been a year since we had lost Adam, six months since we decided to try again, one week since the excitement of a positive pregnancy test, and now, it seemed, my body had betrayed me… again.
We were lucky that we had no more complications after that and Zach was born healthy and strong. He is our rainbow after the storm of the last two years. This Mother’s Day, I think of all the mothers and mothers-at-heart waiting for their rainbow baby. My heart goes out to you as you hope, pray, and wait.
It seems so cliche to throw a bible verse at someone in pain, but I really do hope that you know that God is with you in this. Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matt 5:4) I wish he said we wouldn’t mourn in the first place, but I am thankful he promises to be a comforting presence with us. I don’t think I could have made it through without knowing that God is good and is always with me; rejoicing with me in my joy and grieving with me in my sorrow. Now, on the other side of everything, I see how he has used our circumstances to teach, bless, and (hopefully) mature me. We hope that this Mother’s Day you feel his presence and know that you are not alone.
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NLT)