red cross

Healer God

By | Personal Reflections | One Comment

The song “Our God” just came on my internet radio and I am overcome with emotion. It was a very powerful song for me in our difficult season last year, and God made sure I got to hear it often. Today this line from the chorus especially stuck out: “Our God is healer Awesome in power Our God, our God” We prayed and prayed that our son Adam would be healed before he was born. The outcome was as the doctors predicted (you can read Adam’s story here), but I still believe that God heals and wants to heal. While God has clearly been healing my grieving heart this last year, it was a different kind of healing that came to my mind today; Forgiveness. I realized how lately there are certain people and situations that I have been letting bother me, things I should have forgiven long ago or shouldn’t be upset by in the first place. Our friend Margaret Feinberg gave a great sermon last year on how forgiveness is a continual process and you may have to re-forgive someone daily until it’s really in the past. It’s amazing how a memory can pop up in my mind from weeks, months, years ago and I have to realize I need to forgive them again. I’m so grateful that I don’t have to let the actions of others define or emotionally scar me. I’m so grateful I don’t have to be burdened by joy-stealing resentment. I’m so grateful we…

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Melinda with Adam

Adam

By | Personal Reflections | 4 Comments

I have written this story countless times in my head over the last year, long before thinking of beginning a blog. I narrate silently, as if some unknown reader will someday unfold my inner mind and care to see my thoughts. My memory is fallible, I well know, so now I write with physical hands.   Adam. Our son. We knew his name before we knew he was a boy. It was so Right. No other name could fit our firstborn so solidly, so perfectly. We watched his heartbeat on the ultrasound with such joy. He was real! He was inside me. He was growing.   We were nervous when we first decided to start trying for a child. Would we make good parents, would we know what to do? Wisdom is a precious thing. But then, so soon, we were pregnant and these questions became all the more immediate. We took the quick timing as a good sign. This pregnancy was blessed and all would go well.   Two weeks before Christmas, 2012, a specialist gave us bad news. Adam’s bladder was enlarged due to a blockage, little or nothing was passing through. Later tests revealed his kidneys were suffering from the back flow. They would have little or no function by time he would be born. His lungs would be underdeveloped from the lack of amniotic fluid his bladder was hoarding. If he somehow survived, he would need a transplant when he turned one. He wouldn’t be big enough…

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